In the recent movie Blink Twice Channing Tatum's character Slater King said 'forgetting is a gift". This made me think a lot about all of the times men in my life and even to this day are still playing this same card. It is a crazy perspective to have yet has this not been the male perspective for so long. Freaking Centuries! I'm talkin ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS Long!!
My first example of this is when men cheat on their significant others how they are asked to forgive and forget!!! To be honest some women would rather forget and just sweep it under the rug and act like it doesn't happen to keep the peace, keep the money, or keep the status, or the one that really annoys me the most to appear and seem easy or cool. Fuck that!
This type of behavior is a big way for men to lose respect for women in general. A lot of times we are so surprised at the way men treat us but sometimes when men have been given passes so much or allowed to disrespect women for so long it becomes like normal to them. This is why we walk around a lot today asking why are people like this or why are people so grimy and disrespectful. Because somehow some other person has been letting it go on for a long time and they enjoy the power.
The second example is when you are intentionally made to forget. Unfortunately, most women have been there and if you have not you are so fortunate to not have been taken advantage of this way. Some examples of this intentionally being done would be date rape drugs like roofies, or to be honest the right amount of Xanax or alcohol can definitely make you forget.
Whether it's someone drugging you or being gaslit into believing something or just the disrespectful concept of forgive and forget even the stinky rich people that just say sign an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement or confidentiality agreement) which means it's a legal secret. In famous / rich people world this secret happens often. Which of course you won't forget but you are legally bonded to not speak on it ( cant forget how P Diddy gets down). So, at some point you are dealing with trauma forever or maybe you will forget. Sounds like an absolute nightmare. 😢
So, you get where I am coming from forgetting disrespect is not a gift. Which is why I referenced Blink Twice. Zoe Kravitz the producer of Blink Twice did an amazing job in showing and highlighting how men are constantly in positions of power and are then allowed to make women uncomfortable. Men will intentionally build innocent friendships or connections for their benefit of what they want from you. This behavior is what I call playing nice to eventually catch us with our guards down or make our guards come down without us knowing. Its sick and I'm sick of it. I have literally had problems with this at several jobs that I have worked at in the past, and I believe men are still at jobs on the daily trying to manipulate and make women uncomfortable all the time. It's disgusting and I'm over it. Confronting disrespect head on is definitely going to disturb the peace but I can only see you literally dysregulating your nervous system by trying to forget someone is mistreating or disrespecting you. It will just become a rabbit hole of trauma.
When someone takes it to another level like drugging you to forget its now criminal at this point. Yet so many people get away with this type of behavior. Also, we are not just talking about forgetting what a cheating husband does but what about lewd remarks and unwelcome touchy feely advances that men are always reaching for. I DONT WANT TO HUG YOU. Its creepy we work together I have worked with creepy managers who would touch my calves and say WOW your calf muscles are sooo big! And of course, when his wife comes in later to the bar for drinks we have to forget about this whole inappropriate behavior. Last year I had an interview where the male manager would talk about or make references about employees having oral sex. WTF?? Why is this my interview its completely inappropriate and men never have to go through this or maybe they do but it's rare. I have seen guys tap women on the ass even after the Me Too movement got big. And sometimes women say nothing, but I love it when it is brought to the attention of management, and they are fired for it, but a lot of times people do nothing and that's why these problems are problems that may never end.
The question remains why men are allowed to do things like this and it's just forgotten.
Some of the dumbest men I have ever known are managers for companies. They have the position because they are a man, and they interview well not because they have morals, good judgment, common sense and a great moral compass. This is one of the reasons why some of these issues get swept under the rug and women feel like there is no hope.
Misogynistic views have been around in ancient civilizations for thousands of years. Can you believe that. 😢
Aristotle: The ancient Greek philosopher and scientist considered women deformed and incomplete
In Ancient Egypt: Womens status depended on their fathers or husbands, but they had property rights and could attend court.
In Ancient China: Women were taught to obey their father in childhood, husband in marriage and son in widowhood.
In the 21st century during the fourth wave of feminism, misogyny became almost interchangeable with sexism.
What I love to see now is women standing up for themselves and NOT FORGETTING!! Making sure the truth is told and exposed. As they should. One of my favorite movements right now is ME TOO. This movement took off when Alyssa Milano took to her twitter and stated me too about something pertaining to being mistreated by men. The founder of the ME TOO movement is an American activist and business executive named Tarana Burke. This movement started in 2006 where their mission is to assist survivors of sexual violence. They designed the movement to raise awareness about unwelcome sexual advances or the inappropriate lewd remarks that remain an issue that we as women need to confront head on as we are among men when we work. It's unfortunate that as soon as you see a male as a friend, they start rubbing your back or trying to play footsies with you when you sit next to them
The real reason why I referenced Blink Twice is because Zoe Kravitz did an amazing job at showing and highlighting how men when they are put in positions of power take advantage of women. What about the woman who needs her job to put food on the table. What about the woman who worked really really hard to get the position that she has and now there is a man that is in a position of power that wants to touch you inappropriately or say inappropriate things to you because they think that you will let it go and forget about it.
One thing is for sure, and I speak as a woman who has been through this many times. You never forget even when they try to make you forget. The bottom line is you will still be uncomfortable around them and the fact remains when you see them again at work you are going to try to walk the other way or appear busy because you don't want their unwanted advances, nor do you want their disrespectful comments. What men don't get is that if I don't want you then you can't make me want you even when you force it. Who knows if women will ever be in a time where they do not have to be taken advantage of or be subjected to the predatory abuse of men. And these are the truthful thoughts that needed to be said out loud.
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