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When being supportive goes left !!!

 Yikes 😳 crazy topic but I can’t say it’s not necessary. Sometimes we want to be supportive to the people in our lives.  Maybe your married and they say its till death do you part and in sickness and in health, basically I'm there for you.  Also, with your friends there are a lot of one-sided relationships where support only is coming from the one friend all the time.  Is it the bond and love that keep people being supportive even when it becomes a crutch for the next person or a nightmare for the person that's being supportive.

 


 It's funny how a person can actually see that being supportive for a friend or loved one is no longer serving you or them but yet they continue doing it.  Why do we do this?  Is it out of obligation.  The promise to stay committed and the thoughts of what would people say if I wasn't there for my best friend or partner.  Are we doing it for an audience and validation or are we just being supportive?   Do we do it to hear other people say you are so awesome, you are the best, what would they do without you. 

This is a very unhealthy way to seek validation from others.  You are literally crippling someone else.  I have seen people try to do everything and be everything for their spouse. This leads to resentment because it’s not physically possible to be and do everything and cater to another grown adults every whim and need. This is also  a.k.a I'm trying to be a superhuman.  Maybe you just want to do it because you feel like you are doing your duty as a good human to be their everything, but I promise you half of us do it because we feel like we have something to prove.  


This can be toxic and lead to anxiety and being unfulfilled because when you pour yourself into other people all the time, they can leave you neglecting your needs and your self-care. Don’t get me wrong being supportive can be so life-changing for another human especially when they need it, because they may need guidance, and they may need to vent.  I am by no means saying not to be there for the people in your life when you can support them.


I think I am speaking about boundaries and limits.  It only goes left because we are not seeing when things have been overextended and have run its course, when you realize some things cannot be fixed.  Thats when it goes left and becomes draining and it becomes too much.  Learning to say we have done all we can and walk away from a problem, should not make you feel bad.  Sometimes we have simply given all the support that we can.  

Lastly, I just want to say keep supporting your loved ones but let's not forget to make sure we are taking care of our own personal mental health and not subjecting ourselves to doing so much that we never take care of our own health.  It's so important to not be neglectful of our own needs because we have committed ourselves to making sure someone else's needs are met.  We want to be committed to making healthy decisions for ourselves and the people around us. 

And of course, these are my thoughts out loud!!!😚xoxo

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