Skip to main content

Secret Single Behavior

Secret Single Behavior lol!!! We all have it and if it's a secret behavior do, we really even want the people we love and spend time with to know about it.  Well, I know that I have my own secret single behavior, are you kidding me we all have it.  So, the biggest question is do we change it, or do we just trust the people we love with our weirdo behavior!!  Okay ya'll I know it doesn't necessarily mean we are weird because it's a secret. 




Maybe you just think they may judge you for it.  What if it's just something you know they don't agree with.  The thought of changing who you are because of it totally means you should maybe rethink your choice on who you are with.  We should feel comfortable with our mates but how long does it take to let your guard down.  How long before you truly can trust them with your secret single behavior?  I actually came up with this logic from an episode of Sex in the City.  I resonated with it so much because I know it's so true and we definitely all have it.  






Do you think you should change and conform because it's a secret or just be open and trust that they won't judge you for it.  I don't smoke cigarettes anymore I have been clean for three years, but I remember when I would date guys I would smoke before or after hanging out with them.  Secret Single Behavior right, because around my homegirls I would have my drinks and smoke my American Spirits with no thought about how they would judge me.  Another example. you have a certain routine before bed that takes forever to complete and when your boo comes over you don't do the routine because you don't want them to think you take forever.  The routine isn't really that bad and it doesn't feel like it should be a secret.  On the other hand, if you take two hours to get ready for bed, but your person takes ten minutes eventually I'm sure somebody will have something to say. Someone thinks the other person is neglectful and the other person thinks they are being excessive.


I say all of these examples to say don't think you know everything about someone.  However, I honestly don't think you should be mad or hurt because you don't know everything about someone. When people have been single for years you have to believe that eventually you will get to see them completely naked but it's definitely a journey that comes with patience and being able to not think you always have to know everything about someone to actually love them.  Because trust me you really don't. And once again it was a thought that I decided needed to be out loud.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Finding peace in a storm ☔️

  Isn’t it crazy when you think of all the things that adulting throws at you???  The world we live in has changed so much over the last 10 years and I am so glad to see I am changing with it. One thing you don’t want to do is stop changing. Not changing and growing alone can cause an environment that will be toxic to your mind and soul, and it will spread a negative example.  I compiled a short list of things we can do to help find peace in a storm. One of the best ways that we can find peace is by meditating and starting our day with a mentality of being able to give and receive. Giving knowledge and receiving knowledge.  And trust me I get it when no one wants to hear everything will be okay or how do you even focus on peace when everything is so chaotic. I can’t lie that is hard. But learning to navigate hard is where you will actually find your peace. It’s such a weird perspective but if you think that when everything is easy that’s when you will find peace th...

The Idea of Someone

 I say it all the time and it’s honestly so true we are so into this person and then all of a sudden, we just don’t feel like it fits anymore. It's interesting how the chemistry is going great everything seems very seamless with the connection but then it's the reality of things that begin to hold you back.   Maybe you want different things or maybe it’s just the idea of that person sounded goo d.  You know what I mean. We like the way the energy flows, we have conversations with depth but by the fourth date or when you start to think of the relationship evolving. Oh, wait now we have to unveil secret single behavior, or we are trying to fit you in to an  already routine weekly schedule. Uummmm I literally liked the idea of having company or the idea of going out to eat or the idea of kissing somebody’s ear or the idea of ANYTHING you enjoy doing with someone.  But now it has become an attachment that the other p...

The Balance

I am sure you have heard that Balance in your life is so important. Everybody preaches to have balance in your life! Social Life and Work balance. Healthy foods and Junk food balance. Exercise or no exercise balance. Eating at home and eating out balance. Drinking alcohol and not drinking alcohol balance.  I am here today to confirm the importance of balance in your life. But ultimately you can decide if you need balance or if it’s just a bunch of fluff to add some affirmative motivation to your day!   The positive outcomes for creating balance in your life are below!!! 1. Simplifying your life, defining your priorities and decluttering the stuff in your home and life that removes you from truly living life, can give you space, time and freedom.  2. Building balanced relationships. Having people around you that you like, and trust is one of the best indicators of living a long life. If you are sacrificing relationships like these because you're working too hard, you'...